Here's The Plan

1:16am: heh
recorded some beautiful music today

1:13pm: moments like these
wish i could hold forever.

while smoking a bowl. greenwood jumps in my lap and takes a seat. all of sudden i realize the perfect cd to listen to right now would be pink floyd- animals. and its a sweet picture.

1:04am: she's back!
well only for a week but still...

finds Kid A
plays track 6

7:23pm: sigh
this has been an absolutely horrid day. then thom yorke spoke to me and said:

"If you have been rejected many times in your life, then one more rejection then one more rejection isn't going to make much difference. If you're rejected, don't automatically assume it's your fault. The other person may have several reasons for not doing what you're asking her to do: none of it may have anything to do with you. Perhaps the person is busy or not feeling well or genuinely not interested in spending time with you. Rejections are part of everyday life. Don't let them bother you. Keep reaching out to others. Keep reaching out to others. When you begin to recieve positive responses, then you are on the right track. It's all a matter of numbers. Count the positive responses and for get about the rejections.

Your fantasies are unlikely. But beautiful."

12:30am: what happens when you take the old woman's cat from her?

we shall soon find out

8:24am: Where do we go from here
The words are coming out all weird
Where are you now, when I need you
Alone on an aeroplane
Fall asleep on against the window pane
My blood will thicken

I need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain
Cos I'd be scared that there's nothing underneath
But who are my real friends
Have they all got the bends
Am I really sinking this low

My baby's got the bends, oh no
We don't have any real friends, no, no, no

Just lying in the bar with my drip feed on
Talking to my girlfriend, waiting for something to happen
I wish it was the sixties, I wish I could be happy
I wish, I wish, I wish that something would happen

Where do we go from here
The planet is a gunboat in a sea of fear
And where are you
They brought in the CIA, the tanks and the whole marines,
To blow me away, to blow me sky high

My baby's got the bends
We don't have any real friends

Just lying in the bar with my drip feed on
Talking to my girlfriend, waiting for something to happen
I wish it was the sixties, I wish I could be happy
I wish, I wish, I wish that something would happen

I wanna live, breathe
I wanna be part of the human race
I wanna live, breathe
I wanna be part of the human race, race, race, race

Where do we go from here
The words are coming out all weird
Where are you now when I need you

12:14am: rain down
been playing a lot of music lately. im really enjoying playing bass with brad, alan, jared, chris, lincoln, and the rest. played some alice in chains, pink floyd and radiohead this weekend. its coming together quite nicely. playing the bass really helps to put me a better mood.

for some reason, playing the bass helps me believe i can still live my life as if it were a fairy tale. playing the bass will never disappoint me although sometimes my bass playing is disappointing :).

theres a song by radiohead called subterranean homesick alien. i daydream alot and ironically some of the imagery in the song are like the things i think about. so ive pretty much accepted that im terribly crazy and have also decided that other people need to accept it too. we're all a little crazy inside though, its okay. if you've never done or thought about doing something insane then you're either boring or you dont live life with the passion that it needs. its time for a change. embrace insanity. fuck all my friends who'll never believe me.

ill keep my sunny disposition...

12:36pm: circles
i am quite possibly in one of the most idiotic and pointless cycles i have ever been in. close friends know exactly what im talking. things are going well in the cycle right now but hell, i know it wont last. i have the overwhelming feeling that things are going to fall apart. i need more emotion/passion in my life...

besides that one shitty thing (or awesome thing depending on the day of the week and time of day and other factors such as the alignment of the moons and weather conditions in the carribean islands and other conditions that i have no control over whatsoever) life is fucking great!

11:13pm: my babies got the bends
kitty hurt her paw or leg. she doesnt want to do anything. she only gets up to eat or when i come home. i suppose she is better than she was yesterday because she's following me again. when i was coming home though, she refused to lay in the passenger seat. she always rides in my lap when we go places but since there was something wrong with her leg, i put her bed in the passenger seat and laid her there instead. she wouldnt stay though. she'd wobble on her 3 legs across the car back to my lap. so she road the whole time in my lap, like always. i may need to take her to the vet :(

3:59am: away...
losing patience

3:46am: my feline mood ring
my cat always seems to know my mood. she knows when she's pushing her luck. she knows when im down. she knows when i want to play. its absurd. that being said, when i walked in my room and sat at my computer, she ran from my dresser top into my lap and purred. somehow she knew that i was realizing the ridiculousness of my situation and that id probably be in a shitty situation for a good amount of time. and she made me happy.

1:24am: no alarms and no surprises please
what a very long night

mike georger keeps me in line

charlie humes keeos me from losing hope in humanity

3:36pm: I walk through walls, i float down the Liffey.
lately, ive been listening to a ridiculous amount of radiohead. they're very dark and i really enjoy that about them. it doesn't depress me at all but there are few things better than being able to feel music. i can feel radiohead; i can feel incubus; i can feel a perfect circle. i think that's why i listen to those 3 bands so much. music should be more than music, it should be able to single handedly put you in a good mood or vice versa.

one out of the big three has a lady friend. dont want to jinx it but i wish him the best of luck.

i act like an idiot alot...

12:55pm: yes
got my computer back...bitch

3:31pm: boom
a lot of stuff has happened the past few months. heres what happen last night.

boy gets tired of hair
boy cuts hair
boy doesnt like beard anymore
boy shaves beard
boy plays tiger woods 2004
boy listens to modest mouse
boy goes to sleep

rather exciting 2 hour span

12:15pm: hey
ill post something soon, i swear

1:09am: caring is creepy
i got a bunch of new music this weekend. The Garden State soundtrack, the shins, some neutral milk hotel and some jack johnson. i think my music collection is becoming to big for it britches. whats up man?

3:31am: embarass your whole family
i am your gift. someday you will want to be like me. i am your downfall as well. i am you, refried, twice over. my skin plays a song as is vibrates back and forth. i am not you, i am away. do not get me confused with others. i am the sign. i am too crafty for words. i will decieve you at any moment and not think twice about it afterwars. i feel you, if you are your pain. i will die. i live. i am not here. i am drunk.

2:21am: my man nino is gone
i want to watch new jack city. i need to find it somewhere...

the athens trip was really great. absolutely cant wait to the next PIC trip. had a lot of funs at the bars. first time drinking at bars was an awesome. friends are awesome to have and im glad ive lost my shyness. i guess ive found the group that suits me. gotta buckle down now. class is back and im kind of glad its here but i cant wait for the summer.

5:57pm: le sigh
chalk another one up for bad luck

4:30am: this week
gotta lotta stuff to do this week

we won our playoff game

this one may work

i like snowboarding and friends

someday ill be cool

3:29am: i must've died alone, a long long time ago
who knows, not me...i never lost control. youre face to face with the man who sold the world

it has been good under the circumstances. i cant ask for much more than what im getting. im doing pretty good in classes. i might have to put a little more time towards biology but eh, you gotta do what you gotta do. i need to start going to bed earlier too but i dont seem to be tired at night at all. looking forward to the weekend. last weekend before spring break. yay!!!

i joined a new war3 clan today. clan koao was an overall better clan the clan am is but i think clan am will be the one that better suits me. clan am used to be one of the best clans on b.net until they disbanded over some bullshit. luckily a new chieftain came along and got alot of the old members back together and theyre trying to get back to the top of the food chain. they have the best players ive ever seen with the exception of maybe LostSoul who was the best id ever seen in my life. they seem very excited to have me. lvl 32's looking for a new clan are very hard to find. they have mostly soloer and AT-ers so thats a good thing. i left koao because i didnt like the direction it was headed in. a lot of the high level soloers were leaving because there wasnt enough soloers in the clan to have a great increase in clan solo level. there was also a lot of drama between the shamans and the high level grunts and the chieftain was almost never active. i think it was time for a change.

in my imperfection, i find perfection. i found out yesterday that i love my imperfections. tomorrow i will probably say otherwise.

2:09am: im a futuristic archaelogist
last couple of days have been alright. nothing unusually dramatic which always a good thing but with that comes the boredom of not having anything unusually dramatic. im a little bit low on the cash front but im always a little bit low on the cash front. as long as i have enough to pay my bills i can get over. what i really have to worry about is getting money for the athens trip. ill find a way though to get there, i always find ways to get by.

people are nice to me. i like that. im nice to other people...i think. all my friends are cool. im really lucky on that front. i was talking to someone one night and i figured out that i will always worry about life if i have too much time or my hand. thats the one reason i want to get college done with. i think i wouldnt worry about my future so much if i knew what i was doing with my life.

12:19am: good game
we won our last game of the season tonite. i didnt play last season but apparently they went 0-5 last season. we went undefeated this season, 5-0. good season.

not alot going on right now. i still have a lot of business to take care of this week. yea, its not going to be a very exciting week. i think im going to go back to bed, peace.

1:58am: undefeated still
today i got the apartment stuff almost finished. theres a few more things that need to be done but that should not be a problem. i got a pretty reliable roommate for next year and i think i will be able to do a lot more with the apartment than i did this year. its gonna be good.

our intermural team is still undefeated. as always i filled up the stat sheet. john went 7 for 7 from behind the three point line. im pretty sure we're the best offensive team in the league and we have a pretty good chance of winning it all. we keep winning but im not content with just winning. everyone but me and john seems to be happy with what we're doing. me and john are unhappy because our defense is not as good as we think it could be. our help defense is lacking and our rebounding just overall sucks. our big men are week inside and get a lot of rebounds taken from them. i play point guard but if i have to ill drop down on every play to grab rebounds. the team we played scored 50 points on us which isnt that much but i know we can hold that team to less than 50. we also let a bunch of bench players in which they took advantage of but we still ended up winning.